"Holy Crap! Wolfpac gets Killed 25-8"

On a muddy field in the King’s Grant Saturday softball league, the first place Ott’s Masturbatters squared off against the 8th place Wolfpac.  

Before the start of the game, controversy over an illegal bat used by the Ott’s Masturbatters was called to the umpire’s attention by Wolfpac captain Mike Abruscato.  “I’m not going to pitch against you guys with that Freak, FX 700 bat.  I’m trying to lower my ERA of 36.75.”

The umpire abiding to the request of Mike Abruscato, disallowed the use of the FX 700 bat.

A rattled Ott’s Masturbatters only managed one run in the first and the Wolfpac kept the game close due to the great defense by Mike B.  In the second inning, a blooping foul ball went down the third base line.  Mike B tracked it down like a grizzly bear lunging into a stream of salmon.  He dove into the protecting chain line fence for a highlight reel catch..  

One of the spectators near the third base line screamed with amazement.  “I just wet myself!”

Hard nose right center fielder Mark of the Wolfpac injured his hand by dislocating his index finger in the second inning.  Mark charged into home-plate, and went full steam into the backstop..   While trying to brace his momentum he caught his finger in the backstop fencing.

Trying to play through the pain, Mark took to the field for the top of the third.  Leading 5-3, the Ott’s Masturbatters rallied for 3 more runs in the inning behind an RBI double by Alan, and a 2 run inside the park home-run by Chris.  

After the inning was over Mark collapsed in pain from his injured finger.  Medical examiner and team captain Mike Abruscato diagnosed Mark with a dislocated finger and sidelined Mark for the rest of the game.

With a lone wolf on the “inability to perform” list, the Wolpack had to forfeit an out, everytime  Mark’s spot came up in the batting order.

Sitting in the shade trying to recuperate form his injury, Mark moaned in pain, while sipping on his plastic water-bottle.  A young man riding along the bike path stopped by to aid the dishearten Mark.

“What’s wrong dude?”

“I hurt my finger.  I think I broke it, I can’t move it all”  Mark replied

The young man not concerned started to point at the lake, located behind the softball field.  “That’s nothing, you should of been here yesterday, somebody drove their car in the lake.”

A rugged man, of medium height with a full bushy beard engulfed with honey bee’s overhears the conversation. 

“You think that is bad, I have a family of honey bees trapped in my beard.  It has its advantages though, the honey they produce is phenomenal.”

An image of a man flickering in and out like a hologram beams up between the three men’s conversation chimes in.  

“Ah, you think that is bad, my molecular structure was overtaken by Aliens. Right now, I’m not even standing here.  How do you explain to your children, that their father is an experimental life-form that is controlled by super intelligent  Aliens.  But, at least I have my health.”

With a shortened Wolfpac line-up, the Otts Masterbatters began to pull away in the 6th inning. Jay drove in 2 RBIs with a drive in the gap.  Then Alan followed with a 2 run home run blast to put the Ott’s Masterbatters up 18-6.  By the end of the inning Otts put up 8 runs to take a 20-6 lead.  

A frustrated Wolfpac bench detested their opponent’s arrogance. Sharon the Wolfpac’s catcher vented her dislike of the Ott’s Masterbatter’s character “Those guys are obnoxious and play like its the seventh game of the World Series. If, I wasn’t tired of watching their homeruns, I would of drop kicked a dude by now.”

Mike F of the Wolfpac ended the game with a solo homerun.  Then Mark’s vacant spot in the line-up conceded the final out.   25-8 the final.

After the game the Ott’s Masterbatters captain Dom gave his post-game thoughts.  “We, had a very easy opponent. I could of played blindfolded, and a beer in one hand.   But I would like to nominated Mike Abruscato as a Cy Young candidate.  He lowered his league worse ERA to 31.89. Good job!”

Mike Abruscato answered his critics after the game.  “Shout out to my pitching coach Al Murray, who taught me everything I know.  We finish the game, with a short line-up and never gave up.   I’m proud to call myself the leader of the Wolfpac.  Owoooooooo!!!!!”

The rugged man with a beard full of honey bees, made a puzzling facial expression after the loud howl by Mike Abruscato.  “What a weirdo!”